bleached monogamy instructions
on paper towel barrels
whiskers wisp around faces
and tapered steel clown frogs
gargantuan monuments
constructed for the dead
point to the future that we all know
is what is really dead

vertebra snaps with a crack
eyes roll back
and there is no telling when
the music will end
wailing and sailing through the night
like a leper whistling four digits tight

a cancer that spread across the earth
no moments too small to take into
to take into
to take
into
the heart

coarse coarse
how does the skin feel
as the ash follows the wind path
across your face
your tears mixed in and my eyes dry as sahara
broken bottoms out at the height of the memories
stained bleached out in the distant shadows
tall figures loom in the distance

and a presence we can all feel
reaching out for us
with the urge to heal
and will strong in the wrong song
a moment gained lost forgot displaced jagged rigged
pop out of chest reveries

silken blue dust
skyward fall towards
bleak
ominous forgiving
a huge waste of breath
plunged into the deep wells of our own

coarse corase
moments in the sky
sun baked hands
shake
and turn to dust
ashen eyes wander
looking for the salvations
but all that is seen
and all that is found
is a skeleton
of pure white

what happened
to the jack-in-the-box
its crank and its surprise
is no longer one

where was the turn of the century
while I was sleeping in the grass
watching the clouds float by
waiting for the night
sky

and what happened
to the life
when we knew of it
and the places that were so nice
and free
and we could wander
without all these questions

“who are you?”
“why are you?”

oh where is that place
that knows no bounds
that is awake

what happened to
all the mushroom
clouds
the ones needed
to take away

where is the fire
that used to burn so bright
but now has been snuffed out
leaving us in the dark
reaching out
trying to grab at something
that is not there

I have not found my mountain
that I have been searching for
nor have I found that green grass
that I know is out there
I have searched all over
but to no avail

oh
what happened to this
jack-in-the-box
with the music and the crank
that is now rusted
and won’t turn

washing my hands of gentle
dirt
asking for the apparition
the yellow light
shines on my face
as I shove away all the little things
and move on to the bigger

this is my techno spirit resurrection

a waxed bulb of purple
eating
a flock of tiny assaults on my brain
by the colors mixed with paraffin
spewing out of my soul at the speed of your heart
wasting away the mind with the apparition
promised by those that do

this is my disco indigo revolution

my brains on the wall
illuminated by red light caked
with streams of blue
all the colors mixed together
with all the thoughts of my colors
mixed inside of the thoughts of yours
after the fact
before the time
the light of orange spews out

this is my rock and roll noise addiction

the black light glass glowed on my face
with you a million miles into the future
and my head sinking into the past
where I cannot remember
a single thing
that I thought
that I should know

my eyes stop fluttering for a split second before the pink light
shines into them
and I am blinded
and in my blindness I see what I was suppose to see
all along

my infinite music abstract concoction

Right

Feathers and falling slowing down into
a circle
of what and who
“just remember” they say

forget and you are doomed

or are you?
              maybe
                       just maybe
                                      you’re not

entirely here
or were you
                 ever there
                                in the first place

slowing down with the dust
the aforementioned feathers
Right?
Right
okay
now jump

I wish I could recapture that train of thought I had a little while ago
             where was it going
             if only I had written it down
             if only I had the presence of mind to write it all down
I wish I could encapsulate the moments that I forget
             where my mind was open
             the valve opened all the way
             and I knew every single thing I needed to know

but those moments pass like sleek white clouds over the blue sky
they soar on and over to the next moment
inside the kettle pot they steam up and escape forever
evaporating in the wind
and all I can catch is a slight wisp of it
as it floats into the distance
             and I am lost forever for it
             and there is no way to recapture it
             and there is nothing to do but grasp onto the little straws of it
             and there is nothing left to do but…

crash burn paper mash turn monster laugh howl the circus tent falls down into the crowed
cowering in the basking rays of moon and sun the same reflection anyways
purpose moments abstract thoughts memories forgotten fun times reflections glass
purity nonsense pity laugh nondescript fleeing ions in a moment
cross stitched and wrapped around

I wish I could remember everything I need to remember
             the days and nights I sat and thought
             the inner discussions that led to revelations
             the purposes and the points that were thrown out
I wish I could…
             oh yes
             I really do

but I know the future is a bleak broken shell of the past and we are
going
going
going
going
down a spiral of madness in which we can never travel back up
and I know this because
I can sense it
see it
feel it
I know this because you told me it all
you told me all of this
in a lucid dream