Dec 222011
 

I’ll take one, no wait… I’ll take FOUR!  That is right; I will take four of them right now at half price. What? You want full price? I thought they were on sale! I was looking to get a deal here, what gives? Why are you flip flopping so much? First you want me to buy them on sale then when I want four of them you want to charge me full price? This makes no sense at all, not one bit at all. You’re obviously some kind of shyster trying to screw every person who walks into your shop. Ding ding sing the jingle of televised advertisements into my ears and tell me everything is perfect and not made of air.

Glowing concerns for future puppy toys with real eyes and an interchangeable brain boxed up pretty waiting for your batteries.  Bark woof, howl at the moon like a dead poet wrapped up in a Christmas bow. Unwrap it and insert personality, inject functionality, make it your own and pretend you are a dragon devouring senseless towns and villages. Air mailed and made intricate stitches on all sides, slaved away from bubblegum wrappers and old paper clippings. Right out of the east from children who will never know what a penny even looks like, you paid over the manufactures suggested retail price, you cut your arm off and traded it in. Now indebted to plastic and fake fur your enjoyment is about as long as fish memory.

The hottest new thing sits in a dusty old box buried under the stairs. Long lost thoughts of enjoyment, stomach churning excitement snuffed out, too soon. Carry on without remorse as your prize possessions mold and slowly decay, more food for the landfill. Forgotten, drowned, expiration passed return date.

You’re a box full of memories buried under the stairs collecting dust and mold, one day a spark will lead you there, one day you will remember.

Nov 102011
 

Around the time the sky fell I remember clearly walking down the street and catching my eye was a dark alley and in this alley was a garbage can. This reminds me of the time I was doing jumping jacks in the middle of the freeway. Slipping off a cloud and stumbling down a mountain slowly falling to the bottom and breaking every bone on the way down. The sky is surly falling into the sea piece by piece while we record it and upload it to the internet in real time so everyone can witness this event. Text me your email phone number facebook twitter address so I might add you to my list of thousands that I pay no attention to. The sky is falling and we just sit and watch with smiles in our hearts and anger in our eyes, fire and brimstone rose petals and rainbows. Time to step it up and then fade into the background while the sinister rebellion occurs right before the eyes of the innocent. This is not the sporting event they paid for, this is not the television show they set the DVR to record, this is not the file they illegally downloaded.

The sky has fallen and cheap labor was hired to clean up the pieces. The new sky is much better though, instead of blue it shines in a brilliant green with a touch of yellow and red here and there. Let me blog about this increased hit counter for inflated ego worms that hunger for more. Please remember to fasten your braces and check the helium tanks, this is going to be a smooth ride. Down the middle of a splintered tree a road forks into the sun, which is now purple by the way, and onward to the new blue moon. I am talking about the color not moon phases, the moon is now blue. Go outside and check, you’ll see.

Step into the night now where the sky is white and the stars black, this really makes no since because the stars should be purple but no one wants to question the facts. The grass is still green but not on this side, mister. You get off my lawn I have erected a temple to the new purple sun and blue moon Gods I call Pursu and Blumo all hail as I sacrifice chickens but not live ones I went to the fast food joint down the road so I guess it’s more of an offering than a sacrifice but that is a tale for another day as this one was suppose to be about an alien mother ship visiting Earth and stealing all of our bees. For the honey, aliens love honey.

Oct 282011
 

Panic delays the thought process in increments of thousands. Blast processed into silver lined stereoscopes that hang from the chandelier in the middle of the ocean. Boats coasting on fumes steer into the abyss never to return, course locked in, all hands on deck, abandon ship. No time for life rafts, no time for rubber duck floaters, just jump into the water and brace for the waves. Suffering bends peak mental awareness, shaking uncontrolled metabolism into harsh upstream regurgitated with force until blue slips over. Washed out membranes embrace at the point of impact, the last feeling of survival is the beating drums of the earth. Look up towards the acicular shapes as they pierce your eyes, the final sting before the swarm.

What is this sound in the side of your head, what is the buzzing? Weird tension in the sensory cortex bursting fire and ice, inducting a calm coma state.  Snared by confusion and lost in panic reaching for the surface, climbing higher and higher but in reality sinking deeper. Desperate booms echo in the distance, trauma set to the highest functionality of mirrored paths crossed out on used alchemy paper. Clear of understanding, over standing bounds and limits set by time lost infractions that no one will ever comprehend.  A last ditched effort at freedom thwarted by rebelling limbs, refusing to cooperate, ignoring instructions, numb waste. A fleeting gesture of the lungs, air pocket out of tune, packed with silt and salt. Choke. Gurgle.

Recuperation torn from the grasp of your shattered fingers. Not just yet, a glimmer of light, a hopeful star catches the torn eye. Drawing closer or so it appears, sound pours from your skin, a break in silence reawakens your senses. Zen like structures float around you, offering a small comfort, a stay of execution. Surface explodes in tiny little dots, exploding in every direction, down and up, design lost, malformed reactions. Constricted cordage stitches covered in mossy wood tumbles across broken infrastructure. Blinded by the star, the thunder rapidly fades, adjustment of the cortex, realign the synapse. A faint noise now, slow but picking up speed; beep, beep, beep.  Salvation is one tick away, one burst of lightning, finally a relief, light, hope.

Oct 222011
 

So a tired little time later, a few minutes or hours perhaps. I can’t remember anymore! The sound of a million sun burnt ducks shrieking into my ears. Hell I just want to take a nap, ya know?

Enough, I was thinking about the time I typed this message, I remember it well. I was but a wee lad sitting upon a log in a forest somewhere between here and there. What a glorious time it was sitting and watching the ducks and ostriches flock and flow all over the land and air. Then the fire hit, a flash of amber and ash and purpose was struck down upon me. I must write this missive, I must! It was my duty- no, my destiny! So here it is in all of its glory, unedited and unfiltered. Whatever all that means.

Time is a commonplace enemy to man, much as the darkness is to the light. When you ponder too much and you wish and dream and think and hope and pray. Then you take a little nap, sleep on it a bit. Tomorrow will bring bigger, better ideas. Ideas that will make you famous, or at the very least content, right? Well the next day come and goes and then so does about two hundred years. Where are we now? We are at the beginning of the whole thing, only now it’s too late, time has moved on. You just think that if you could only go back, maybe, just maybe you could change everything. You could do all the things you missed out on, catch all the things that passed you by. Hold them tightly and savor their every moment. There are no do-overs, there is no going back. What has passed has passed.

That’s just it isn’t it? Every single moment lost is a heavy burden, every hour spent day dreaming about nothing. About planning on doing something you know you never will make time for. Instead it’s the same old time wasters and boring day to day nonsense. If only I didn’t need that job then I would have the time to invent a flying car! Blast it all!

You cannot redo this life, you have until you are born to until you die to make something of yourself. Wishing and hoping will get you nowhere. Time will see to that, time will destroy you. It will make you fragile and cripple, break you down, rip you apart, and spit in your face. Time tear away all of your hopes and dreams and leave you a shell of your former self. Time is not on your side, it never was and it never will be. It will undermine every opportunity; break every will, without remorse or spite. Time will kill you, it is inevitable.

Well that is that, the ending of everything. The total nonsense of our lives. Compression chambered into a few thoughts and words. The frigid truth dragged out to be beaten by the hopeless masses, confusion and ignorance fuels this mob. They march the streets at night and avoid the lampposts on the corners. Sulking in dark alleys, in-between bushes and under staircases. That is your fate, oh dearest me, to be vengeful and full of remorse due to a lack of controlling your own fate.

Twilight broken fades into the simplest of moments of clarity speckled with a few lapses of light. All constructions are abandoned and all pay has been suspended. Time ate everything and we are simply festering in its rotting belly. Verily there must be some reprieve but alas I am afraid not. Says the window washer to his squeegee as he cleans your windshield on the corner of 6th and Parkview Avenue. Crusted flecks of broken courage mirrored into a simple display of weakness. Run away to the sinking light at the end of the tunnel; try to catch it, sunset rider. There is still hope! There is still a chance to save it all! If you can just make it in time! Hurry, the light is creeping away into darkness! You can make it, run! There is still a sliver of light left, if only you could just reach it, touch it, you are so close! Aaaaallllllllmmmooooooossssssssttttttt there.

Oct 162011
 

Welcome to bad writing! This is my webpage blog thing that I will use to post insane inane things like poems, blog posts, and maybe incoherent stories. Do not expect any of these to be any good at all, infact, your expectations should be really low.

So what is bad writing? Well it is mostly for my own amusement but if others find it interesting then great. I really don’t put much thought into what I write; things just come out like a hammer striking a laser beam directed from a planetary system light years beyond sight and the homemade missile of confused leprechauns blasts the side of a silhouetted house mired in hostility. No sir, no thoughts on this little planet of mine, just a lot of nonsense and stupidity brought to you by brunch and the letter three or maybe fourteen I am not really sure anymore.  Oh God, smoke in the eye, tear duct streaming liquid and blur surrounds the optics. But whatever, no time for that now, no time for sulking it is time to truck on with this nonsense. My grammar is bad but so what? I can’t spell either but I have spell checker for that so I win! What are you going to do now? Tell me I am a terrible writer, that I make no sense? Look at the address bar, yeah, now what?

Okay, I am sorry I didn’t intend to get so defensive and mean there. It is just the point of this whole thing is well; I don’t even know anymore it’s like a clock that stopped right before the bird was to make its ear splitting escape. Trapped in a little house forever in the dark confused at its own existence wanting only to flee to a safe haven off the coast of Maine it plots, toils, wishes, and dreams. The only thing is that if it ever does break free and lives its little life where it wants to it will never know true happiness because the torment of the past will haunt it forever. Just like the time I went to the store and they ran out of toilet paper, man that sucked.

Yes I know this site is a little slow right now but I really don’t know why that is. I am guessing that it is because spiders are clogging up the cables and tubes that run to your computer, they are making webs and catching packets. Feeding off the information they breed and the little eggs sometimes go directly into your computer, have you ever noticed the spiders running around on your desktop? I am sure you have and thought you were just seeing things, like maybe it was just a shadow going across your screen or dirt. Nope, spiders are inside of your computer eating your data. You have been warned.

I don’t even know what any of that means to tell you the truth, but what I do know Is that once the life raft is set into the ocean and the boats whirlpool sinking motion line up that refuge will be very difficult and the paddles must not be dropped in the water with a splash or all hope is lost. Lost in the darkness of space is where the moon glows dimly behind clouds of ash and dust after a horrific display of mother nature, do not under estimate the power of Planet Earth, or Whiskey for that matter.

Well this didn’t turn out the way I wanted to, in fact it was some pretty bad writing* if I do say so myself. Oh well things rarely go as planned for me, and that is not a bad thing either. I hope you enjoyed this little ramble, or not, I really don’t care. bye!

*Get it? (It’s a pun! (ha ha ha))